Posted in Weekly VIBEZ

I Am Not Responsible For Your Happiness

You can’t find happiness within a person but you can experience it within yourself. Happiness is not found in people and you lie to yourself when you state that a person can make you happy or completes you. No one person or any amount of people can make you feel something that you have to experience for yourself. If you are not already at a place of peace or joy then you can’t blame someone for something YOU ALONE are responsible for finding within YOU.

The ever so tiring relationship memes about finding happiness within him/her and how you expect it to happen is pure foolery. If you don’t feel a sense of accomplishment or completeness within yourself then how do you expect another person to make YOU feel that? What is it that makes you happy? The falsehoods that society dishes out as “Happiness” is just that, FALSEHOODS. You can’t place blame on someone else for something that you have yet to figure out for yourself. It is your responsibility to dig deep within your psyche and compile information on your destiny.

It is a burden to place your weight of life upon someone else. It is a burden to store your unknown’s in someone else’s space. It is a burden to place your life items in someone else’s basket. The key word in all of this is YOUR. It belongs to you. You are the sole owner of your things. Therefore, you have to complete your own journey to solely find your happiness.

When you become angry with someone for not making you happy, you are internally blaming yourself for not knowing what completes you. Outwardly, your mate seems to be the end of the line but inwardly, you have never known your beginning. You don’t really know what motivates you, what drives you, what makes you feel secure or wanted, or even what makes you feel accomplished. What you do know is that you have learned how to place blame on someone else for finding something that you lost.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You will not find it within another person but you can connect with someone who has found their own happiness. Take some time off from the constant distractions of the world and figure out what your happiness looks and feels like.

Posted in The Truth, Weekly VIBEZ

I Am Not Responsible For Your Happiness

You can’t find happiness within a person but you can experience it within yourself. Happiness is not found in people and you lie to yourself when you state that a person can make you happy or completes you. No one person or any amount of people can make you feel something that you have to experience for yourself. If you are not already at a place of peace or joy then you can’t blame someone for something YOU ALONE are responsible for finding within YOU.

The ever so tiring relationship memes about finding happiness within him/her and how you expect it to happen is pure foolery. If you don’t feel a sense of accomplishment or completeness within yourself then how do you expect another person to make YOU feel that? What is it that makes you happy? The falsehoods that society dishes out as “Happiness” is just that, FALSEHOODS. You can’t place blame on someone else for something that you have yet to figure out for yourself. It is your responsibility to dig deep within your psyche and compile information on your destiny.

It is a burden to place your weight of life upon someone else. It is a burden to store your unknown’s in someone else’s space. It is a burden to place your life items in someone else’s basket. The key word in all of this is YOUR. It belongs to you. You are the sole owner of your things. Therefore, you have to complete your own journey to solely find your happiness.

When you become angry with someone for not making you happy, you are internally blaming yourself for not knowing what completes you. Outwardly, your mate seems to be the end of the line but inwardly, you have never known your beginning. You don’t really know what motivates you, what drives you, what makes you feel secure or wanted, or even what makes you feel accomplished. What you do know is that you have learned how to place blame on someone else for finding something that you lost.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You will not find it within another person but you can connect with someone who has found their own happiness. Take some time off from the constant distractions of the world and figure out what your happiness looks and feels like.

Posted in Weekly VIBEZ

My Advice Is Free But My Peace Is Not

There is usually the friend in the group who is the peacemaker. That friend usually gives out great advice for the best interest of his/her friends. That person also is usually the one who never feels truly comfortable enough with any one friend to confide in. That person is overwhelmed and underserved.

Peace in the form of solidarity comes at a price. Sometimes, that job, or the extra volunteer work takes a toll on you. That relationship has completely broken you from the inside out. The children have completely drained any lasting energy that you were secretly hanging on to. Now, here comes those friends or that one person who has no common knowledge that you’re hanging on by a thread. They throw their baggage onto you expecting you to resolve a top tiered leveled crisis of theirs. Even though you have expressed your own crises and how you simply need time to heal, they expect you to put their issues first.

Your peace is not free! It comes at a cost. If you are the go to person who seemingly always have the answers, it’s at a higher cost. You have to sacrifice, multi-task, compromise, and god knows what else. You end up paying for your own peace. It is not your job to fix everyone or everything. You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness. You are responsible for your own sanity. You can’t be at peace if you’re still paying for someone else’s.

It’s more than ok to choose your own peace over everything else. You don’t have all of the answers and that’s ok. You are not GOOGLE and sometimes google doesn’t even have the answers. What does your peace look like? What does it sound like? Who does it include? How does it make you feel?

What I know for sure is that my peace is more important than your demands!

Posted in 100

A Lack of Everything

On the season two opener of my podcast, I had a in depth conversation with my ex-boyfriend about why our relationship ended. The conversation was insightful at times and unnerving during others. All in all, I learned something new about myself during that conversation. The lesson was to “Listen to Understand” and not to respond.

I don’t know too many people, friends or family, who can truly attest to the fact that they listen in this way. If you’re too quiet of a person, then people perceive you as sneaky. If you’re too loud of a person, then people perceive you as aggressive and overbearing. Either way, you’re being perceived as something that you might not even be. Those people never listened to understand who you are.

What I discovered about my listening skills is that I too often listened to judge. I was usually right in every situation or so I told myself. I already had an attitude and had mapped out everything that I would say during a disagreement. I was not listening with my heart and mind, yet with my ears and mouth. I was listening to prove a point! A point that was not even factual.

Our relationship ended for one simple reason. There was a lack of everything. A lack of listening, compromise, understanding, love, connection, etc. Just because he/she/they make you laugh does not mean that it’s meant to be. It could simply mean that the person is funny. THAT’S IT!

In order to truly listen to understand someone, you have to possess empathy and sympathy and place everything you know in a separate bag. Grab a new bag and place all of the new and fresh information in it. Then, use your empathy and sympathy to dissect what you heard and you will be able to understand it differently. I know I did! I learned something about our relationship that I never would have known.