You can’t find happiness within a person but you can experience it within yourself. Happiness is not found in people and you lie to yourself when you state that a person can make you happy or completes you. No one person or any amount of people can make you feel something that you have to experience for yourself. If you are not already at a place of peace or joy then you can’t blame someone for something YOU ALONE are responsible for finding within YOU.

The ever so tiring relationship memes about finding happiness within him/her and how you expect it to happen is pure foolery. If you don’t feel a sense of accomplishment or completeness within yourself then how do you expect another person to make YOU feel that? What is it that makes you happy? The falsehoods that society dishes out as “Happiness” is just that, FALSEHOODS. You can’t place blame on someone else for something that you have yet to figure out for yourself. It is your responsibility to dig deep within your psyche and compile information on your destiny.

It is a burden to place your weight of life upon someone else. It is a burden to store your unknown’s in someone else’s space. It is a burden to place your life items in someone else’s basket. The key word in all of this is YOUR. It belongs to you. You are the sole owner of your things. Therefore, you have to complete your own journey to solely find your happiness.

When you become angry with someone for not making you happy, you are internally blaming yourself for not knowing what completes you. Outwardly, your mate seems to be the end of the line but inwardly, you have never known your beginning. You don’t really know what motivates you, what drives you, what makes you feel secure or wanted, or even what makes you feel accomplished. What you do know is that you have learned how to place blame on someone else for finding something that you lost.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You will not find it within another person but you can connect with someone who has found their own happiness. Take some time off from the constant distractions of the world and figure out what your happiness looks and feels like.

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You can’t find happiness within a person but you can experience it within yourself. Happiness is not found in people and you lie to yourself when you state that a person can make you happy or completes you. No one person or any amount of people can make you feel something that you have to experience for yourself. If you are not already at a place of peace or joy then you can’t blame someone for something YOU ALONE are responsible for finding within YOU.

The ever so tiring relationship memes about finding happiness within him/her and how you expect it to happen is pure foolery. If you don’t feel a sense of accomplishment or completeness within yourself then how do you expect another person to make YOU feel that? What is it that makes you happy? The falsehoods that society dishes out as “Happiness” is just that, FALSEHOODS. You can’t place blame on someone else for something that you have yet to figure out for yourself. It is your responsibility to dig deep within your psyche and compile information on your destiny.

It is a burden to place your weight of life upon someone else. It is a burden to store your unknown’s in someone else’s space. It is a burden to place your life items in someone else’s basket. The key word in all of this is YOUR. It belongs to you. You are the sole owner of your things. Therefore, you have to complete your own journey to solely find your happiness.

When you become angry with someone for not making you happy, you are internally blaming yourself for not knowing what completes you. Outwardly, your mate seems to be the end of the line but inwardly, you have never known your beginning. You don’t really know what motivates you, what drives you, what makes you feel secure or wanted, or even what makes you feel accomplished. What you do know is that you have learned how to place blame on someone else for finding something that you lost.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You will not find it within another person but you can connect with someone who has found their own happiness. Take some time off from the constant distractions of the world and figure out what your happiness looks and feels like.

Love is in the air and people are breathing it all in. Or maybe that was just a thought of mine! More and more, I’m beginning to see that a lot of millennials are getting married. The pictures seem to prove a thousand different words with images that appear to capture the pure essence of love. That or either it’s simply just a picture.

On three separate occasions, I have been informed of the truth of what looked like a “Happy” marriage. This time, it’s the men that are proving to be unhappy. When asked why they went through with the marriage, each man responded by saying that “He thought it was the right thing to do”. All under thirty, each man admitted to feeling miserable in his marriage.

Each guy said he felt pressured by his or her family to go through with the wedding. He didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Neither man ever thought about whether or not he was disappointing himself. Going into a marriage based on pleasing others can lead to a destructive union.

When I think of marriage, I genuinely think about the rest of my life. I imagine myself to live until I’m ninety-nine years old. I visualize myself resting in a hammock near a great body of water at the age of fifty. I know for a fact that I will take my retirement money and cruise around the world. When it comes to marriage, I simply want to do all of these things with someone who satisfies my soul.

I was also told that marriage was a business. Although I’m not married, marriage should not be a business. If you enter into a marriage with that concept then that’s how it will turn out. Sometimes, businesses fail and you don’t always want to resurrect them. You might have a new idea and move on to it. Is that how you’re going to treat your marriage?

When marrying someone else becomes the “Right thing to do”, it becomes the wrong life to live. What happens when you’re no longer physically or emotionally attracted to your partner? You stay and then what? You live in misery and then what? You fall into a deep depression and then what? You lose yourself and you believe that love does not exist.

Before you propose, because it’s the right thing to do, think about the rest of your life. How long do you see yourself living? What are your plans for when you turn sixty-five? Do you truly want to spend that time with the person that you’re either married to or plan on proposing to? If you’re in a marriage now because it was the right thing to do, are you happy? Have you ever been?

It’s OK to admit the truth to yourself. That’s where you have to begin. It’s OK if things don’t work out. That’s you taking steps towards your own happiness. It’s OK for you to do what’s right for you. That’s living your best life! 

What is the right thing to do? Societal pressures and familial traditions! Often times, we think that following in the foot steps of family or proving to be better than someone else is what’s right. Only you can determine what’s right for YOU because YOU know yourself better than anyone else. What feels right to you? When you figure it out then you will understand that that’s the right thing to do.

There is a true complex when it comes to dating. There are the issues of communication, honesty, faithfulness, etc. Sometimes, you have all of these things and yet something still feels as if it is missing. That something is usually a real connection.

Inclusive of myself, the struggle with dating the nice guy is that there is usually a lack of connection. This is not to blame on the guy or girl but rather an issue that is self-reflective. Sometimes, you simply know what and who you are looking for. All of the time, you should know what you are attracted to.

Turning away the nice guy can seem very trivial to most because that is usually the guy who meets all of the criteria on your checklist. Your closest friends and family may even begin to judge you for your lack of consideration and letting go of a “Good Man”. However, you are the only person who truly know’s what it is that makes you happy and you will know when you feel it.

The nice guy pays for all of the dates, he picks you up, he sends flowers to your job and he is very respectful to you at all times. He plans ahead, he makes himself available when you need help and even wants to be the person you call first during trying times. It sounds perfect, except for the part where you simply don’t connect with him emotionally or physically. What do you do?

So many people force themselves into relationships because of the materialistic offerings. Also, so many people are miserable in these same relationships because they never really truly connected with their partner.

Don’t feel like you’re broken if you continue to date but usually are not interested in any of them. You’re not broken, you’re unique! You are one of the few people who really know what love is because you feel it before you see it.

Don’t settle for the guy because he is nice! Wait for your love! There is no telling how long the wait might be but when you feel it, everything is brighter. I’ve figured this out about myself. I’ve been on plenty of dates within the last eight months and not once have I felt connected to any of them. I thought something was wrong with me at first but I realized that I’m just a rare commodity.

I do not enter relationships based on what I see but rather what I feel. When I feel it, I will know.

When you think of growth, you think of all sorts of things. Particularly, I think of the growth of one’s edges. I often like to welcome them back. In this instance, the type of growth that I’m referring to is maturity. When you look back on your younger self, are you embarrassed or ashamed of who you were then? I’ll raise my hand for all of you.

Being that I’m still young and under thirty, some people (Older) would probably disagree with growth at this age and reference that “I still have a lot to learn”. I won’t disagree with that part, however, I have learned a lot in the past five years about myself. Relationships, whether they are friendships, partnerships, or personal relationships, have been quite the area of growth for me. Let’s do a little bullet point presentation of some of the things that I’ve simply grown out of over the past five years.

  • Pleasing people
  • Caring
  • Fake friends
  • Broke ass dudes
  • Dudes with several children
  • Dudes with no jobs
  • Dudes with no ambition
  • Did I mention “Not giving a f**k about other’s opinions”

This list can literally go on into a dissertation entitled “How I Stopped Giving  A F**k and Stacked My Money Up”. Honestly, five years ago, I was a complete mess. I was very naive and easily manipulated. I was quick to please and slow to catch on. I wanted to please everyone around me and I wanted attention for all the wrong reasons. Fresh out of college, I found myself doing a lot of things that I now regret. I was dating the wrong guys and befriending some of the wrong people. Fast forward to five years later and I’m absolutely enamored with the woman who I’ve become. I know better and I do better; not because of wanting to please others but because better feels good to me.

I’m better in my friendships, partnerships, and I’m still growing in the relationship area. However, I know I’m better in that also. I’m doing better with those things. Maturity is one hell of a drug!

If you could give your 22/23-year-old self advice now, what would be the main point that you would want your younger self to know?

There are millions of people on social media but there are a million more people who are on social media ALL DAY LONG. There is that one person, one follower, one stalker, who comments and likes everything you post. You could be asking a rhetorical question while on a ranting spree and that person has what seems like a real life answer. Please, sir/ma’am, go and sit down somewhere! Also, remove yourself from social media for the remainder of the week.

Usually, if you have children (because no one just has one child anymore) one would expect you to be tending to your children or any family involved activities. Usually, if you have jobs (because no one person has one job anymore) one would expect you to actually be productive with completing work tasks during your allotted work hours. However, these same people with full time jobs and families find time to dedicate ALL DAY of their lives to being on social media. Every post, every picture, every flyer, every Facebook memory; you manage to be there for all of it. GO AWAY!

Please help me understand why you have nothing else to do during the day? WHY ARE YOU NOT RINGING MY ITEMS AND CHECKING ME OUT? WHY AM I STILL IN THIS LINE FOUR HOURS LATER WITH ONLY TWO ITEMS? Girl, please put down the dumb (smart) phone and check me the hell out before I walk the hell out.

I’m literally baffled that people spend so much time in other people’s business. You don’t even know Jonathan or Stephanie yet you find ALL of THEE TIME to criticize their every move. Why does your niece on your father’s side know about Stephanie’s business. Does Stephanie even know you?

Since I’m not a biased person, one would also wonder why Stephanie and Jonathan are sharing their entire lives on social media. I don’t care that you just left White Castle’s to get a twenty-case of burgers. You will also have a twenty-case of the shits! I’m convinced that people who post their every move to social media have no real friends or support system. They have no one to talk to, no best-friends to vent to and no shoulder to cry on.

I challenge all (everyday all day) social media users and stalkers to go and find a LIFE. Get a hobby! Go to WORK!  STOP COMMENTING! Get off of his page! Stop forming opinions! Finish that paper that is three weeks overdue! Mend a broken relationship! Just do all of this while being off of social media.

ONE MORE THING:

Please refrain from commenting on all of my pictures and status updates.

Sincerely,

We’re not even friends on here

If you’re a responsible adult by now, I’m sure you have experienced some sort of ignorance from an employer and your supervisor. This issue among us millennials is very prevalent because we are a group known to speak up and show out. As the popular internet saying goes, “We are not our grandparents”!

When it comes to work ethic, I would like to think that I have a great one. I have a little bit of OCD and a need for all things to be done and finished. I also have a knack for being sarcastic. I will also tell a cruel joke because I feel like it. One thing that I don’t have is the power to hold my tongue. I WILL CALL YOU OUT!

It is one thing to seek other employment because you know your time with said company is coming to and end but it is another thing to be terminated for unspecific reasons. Supervisors (In my case) will work day and night to find any specific reason to fire you. They will throw insurmountable loads of work at you but you will finish, ARMY STRONG. Some supervisors feel superior and in control when they pile up your work load. You ask for help because it starts to become overwhelming. You don’t receive any help because the supervisor is petty and he/she has developed a strong disliking towards you.

Now it’s time for a supervision! You have practiced day and night on your speech that is about to be handed on a platter. Before you get to speak, the supervisor critiques your performance with false accusations of your tardiness, lacking work ethic, paperwork pile up, etc. You have been written up for poor work ethic and failure to complete required documents within a specific time frame. The supervisor also threw in the fact that he/she didn’t like your sarcasm.

Because you are a millennial and pettiness literally flows through your blood, you have recorded every conversation, supervision, made copies of your completed work with dates, and even recorded every time that the supervisor was late. You hold these things hostage because you know that another supervision will take place.

Now, it is probably frowned upon in the work place but some of us have very little tolerance when it comes to dealing with terrible leaders in the workplace. You have all of this evidence waiting to be anonymously sent to the director of HR. I have learned to keep record of everything because of a situation all too similar. Some people are not meant to be in leadership roles but somehow they manage to move their way to the top. These are the “Leaders” you have to watch out for. They will shade you for dear god life and throw you under a bus.

You come back with an eighteen wheeler and palm tree from Punta Cana!