Posted in 100, The Truth

Dating Application

Dating these days is like believing that you have a talent but you keep failing at it. You continuously are trying to figure out if you’re any good at it. For us women, it’s even harder trying to weed through the bad guys just to “settle” for a decent one. Sometimes, we simply give in and give up on finding that realistic match.

For an educated woman, we want to simply find a partner that is independent in his financial stability and inclusive in his emotional and physical support. This sounds complicated but it’s actually quite simple. Its simple enough for you to google what it means and figure it out.

I have been on numerous dates within this year and they have all, with the exception of maybe two, sucked major ass. I have either not been physically attracted to them or extremely turned off by their ignorance and narcissism. I have even questioned myself as to whether or not I was a good match or even good at dating. I started to question myself because I noticed that I attracted certain men. I either attracted older men, who have been married twice and are near their first heart attack or I attract guys who are fascinated by a woman’s body image and his own selfishness.

So, I’ve decided to just be upfront while on a date to save time and effort from introducing myself to an asshole. Here are the five essential questions to ask while on a first date.

  1. How old are you? (Age helps with understanding his mentality)
  2. Who do you live with? (Understanding independence)
  3. Where do you work and is it full-time? (Understanding values)
  4. Do you have any children? (Possible baby mama issues)
  5. Do you drive and own a vehicle? (Understanding dependability)

I have often not asked these simple questions and have been bamboozled while in the relationship. There are different types of women and all women date differently. Some women are more tolerant of certain men and some women cringe at the thought of “taking care of a man”. I fit in the second category. This is not an attack on men because they are also women who fit in the same category.

If you are a no non-sense, take action kind of woman then this article is for you. You have goals, tasks to complete, people to network with, appointments to get to, homework to do, work (employer) to catch up on and errands to run. You have structure in your life and you really don’t have the patience to teach a “Man” how to date you. So, just weed through them all with the five essential dating application questions. You’re Welcome!

Posted in The Truth

Dating In Chicago

As a young and single African-American woman, dating should be fun and easy. Instead, it is an excruciating job interview that is going terribly wrong. You want to give up midway through and block that person from any and all contact with you. So, let’s talk about why dating is so difficult in this city.

In the city of Chicago, I often find myself gathering information on people who I don’t even know. I know about other relationships and cheating scandals, affairs, failed marriages and one night stands. These same men and women who are part of these scandals are the one’s who you usually end up on a date with.

After I graduated from college and started working towards my M.B.A., I really began dating again. I was made out to seem stuck up and too independent because I had these things going for myself. I simply ask a guy what is his occupation and who does he live with and here comes the lies and the insecurities. I should not be made out to feel like I’m asking too much of you. I definitely don’t do guys with major insecurities.

Dating in this city is difficult because the only guys available are left over baby daddies and cheating husbands. These men usually don’t have any idea of what stability looks like and has very little to offer in a relationship. Here are a list of problems that a young single woman here might incur when dating a city guy:

  • Lives with his mother/baby’s mother/Grandma
  • Has  multiple children
  • Does not have a valid license
  • Wants to borrow your car
  • Does not have a car
  • Does not know what it means to date you
  • Usually needs to borrow money from you
  • Not Educated
  • Wants to move in with you

This list can go on and on but I’d prefer not to bash them any more than what I already have. So, because I think that as a 28-35 year old man, you should have your own place, job, car, and money; I’m the problem and I’m being unrealistic. At this point, I’d rather date someone’s grandfather.

Dating up north versus down south is completely different and I’ve noticed so. In the south, a good majority of the men are respectful and chivalrous. They are stable, financially and mentally, and most are ready to settle down and start a family. I’m stuck with the guy who started a family and couldn’t stop.

I don’t know what’s in the water here in Chicago but I really need the Mayor or Governor to filter that shit. I just want to go on a nice and simple date with a MAN who has his shit together.

Dear Man Who Has His Shit Together,

Where are you and can you please meet me somewhere.