Dating these days is like believing that you have a talent but you keep failing at it. You continuously are trying to figure out if you’re any good at it. For us women, it’s even harder trying to weed through the bad guys just to “settle” for a decent one. Sometimes, we simply give in and give up on finding that realistic match.
For an educated woman, we want to simply find a partner that is independent in his financial stability and inclusive in his emotional and physical support. This sounds complicated but it’s actually quite simple. Its simple enough for you to google what it means and figure it out.
I have been on numerous dates within this year and they have all, with the exception of maybe two, sucked major ass. I have either not been physically attracted to them or extremely turned off by their ignorance and narcissism. I have even questioned myself as to whether or not I was a good match or even good at dating. I started to question myself because I noticed that I attracted certain men. I either attracted older men, who have been married twice and are near their first heart attack or I attract guys who are fascinated by a woman’s body image and his own selfishness.
So, I’ve decided to just be upfront while on a date to save time and effort from introducing myself to an asshole. Here are the five essential questions to ask while on a first date.
- How old are you? (Age helps with understanding his mentality)
- Who do you live with? (Understanding independence)
- Where do you work and is it full-time? (Understanding values)
- Do you have any children? (Possible baby mama issues)
- Do you drive and own a vehicle? (Understanding dependability)
I have often not asked these simple questions and have been bamboozled while in the relationship. There are different types of women and all women date differently. Some women are more tolerant of certain men and some women cringe at the thought of “taking care of a man”. I fit in the second category. This is not an attack on men because they are also women who fit in the same category.
If you are a no non-sense, take action kind of woman then this article is for you. You have goals, tasks to complete, people to network with, appointments to get to, homework to do, work (employer) to catch up on and errands to run. You have structure in your life and you really don’t have the patience to teach a “Man” how to date you. So, just weed through them all with the five essential dating application questions. You’re Welcome!
Here is back to all the ex-boyfriend stuff but this time I’m serving a little tea. Now, I’m not the one to tell a tall tale but every now and then, I can’t help myself. I also believe that if you’re reading this then you have been guilty of doing the same thing. You’re guilty of being petty.
Picture this: Your boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you for unspecified reasons and you’re trying to deal with it. Some people self medicate, some people simply move on and others just hide it very well. The others who hide it very well are the one’s who are most guilty of being petty. Here are some things you do that make you this way.
- You remain friends on social media
- You immediately change their name in your phone (Bae=Bitch)
- You threaten your friends to break off any and all contact with him/her
- You social media stalk all their pages
- You post indirect Facebook statuses about them
- You now talk down about them to anyone willing to listen
- You post a lot of pictures looking good just for them to see
Petty runs in your blood and it probably runs deep. I would have never thought I would be this person but I guess this is what happens when you truly love someone. The part that often bothers me is the getting back with your ugly ex. It’s one thing that you dated such a person but it’s an entirely different circumstance when you see their posts about them being together again. That makes me think that you all were in contact while we were in a relationship. So, what’s a girl to do?
In the end, just know that you tried and it didn’t work out because it probably was not meant to be. The petty will come and go and for most people, it will stay. It’s all part of healing and getting over your broken heart. For the people who are not so good at showing emotion, they are suffering the worst. I can say that from experience. Until then, I will try to keep my petty in and my shade trapped.
Confession time!!!! What’s the most petty thing you’ve done after a break-up?
I used to think that I was extremely mean to guys and I did not give them a fair chance at shooting their shots. Now I know why I was mean! Guys want to shoot their shots even if you all are no longer on the same court.
Being cordial and being a complete jerk are two different things but they usually end up being one in the same. When it comes to most of my ex boyfriends, I mainly feel this way. PSA: I’m not interested in ever getting back with you so don’t even waste your time. I can be terribly pleasant to you and even entertain everyone amongst a group of friends. I can hold an influential conversation with you while reminiscing about the good old days of our past. Ohhh but please be conscious that I probably despise you and your lack of manhood.
If your relationship did not work out then that’s the end of that. What if it has been a few tears and both parties have seemingly changed? If this is the case then you should give it another chance. Great things happen with second and third chances. However, if you were given a fifth, sixth, seventh and eight chance then your ass should be put on the “DO NOT EVER THINK ABOUT OR CONTACT ME LIST”. Going back to an old relationship often gives one hope that things can revert back to the way they were. People often think about the good times and convincingly tends to have no recollection of the bad. When I’ve had more bad times than good; as the Spanish say, ADIOS!
I can count on my hands the number of times that I have gotten back with an ex. Be it for pleasure or because I truly had faith that it would work; I just can’t see myself repeating this same behavior. I don’t doubt that some of my ex-boyfriends are really good guys. I just don’t think that they have maturated in MEN.
I have been watching so much Oprah and Iyanla: Fix My Life that I truly believe that I have fixed myself and grown spiritually and mentally. I’m not a person of many chances but if you have somehow managed to get more than two chances out of me then you should know that you’re the asshole who messed up. I’m not perfect by an inch but I’m a decimal away from being the woman you wish you had.
Question at hand is: Have you taken an ex back and if so, why?