If you’re reading this, I’m going to assume that you’re almost or over the age of thirty. Why would I assume this? Simply because I hope you know that you’re ALMOST THIRTY.
Everywhere you turn and every post that your scroll past, there it is. It stares you right in the face and sometimes it even taunts you. The simple hashtag “Relationship Goals” can undoubtedly ruin your day. Why is that? Why do we have such low expectations of partnerships? Just because you see a picture that portray’s happiness does not mean that it’s actually true. I simple despise that hashtag! Not because I’m jealous or scorned but simply because it’s just another marketing tool.
So many young people or people in general yearn for a relationship. Social media increases that desire with all the perfect pictures. That’s when things start to go left. Examples of “Relationship Goals” are plastered all over the internet and is reeling everyone in. Why do you have the same relationship goals as someone whom you’ve never met? I understand that we as a society idolize celebrities. I understand that celebrities are influential. However, I’m a bit confused as to why I would want the same kind of relationship as Drake and Rihanna or Ciara and Russell Wilson. I don’t personally know either of them and I don’t know what they do or how they interact with each other behind the camera’s.
You basically want someone to take pictures and stunt with on social media. You want to be seemingly happy. Does that mean that you’re OK with being alone while Facebook or Snapchat is not live? Do you actually know what you’re looking for in a relationship? Do you know who you are with or without a relationship? Who are you trying to impress? Do they even know you?
People have invested their time in your relationship via social media by liking all of your posts. Four months into the relationship, every picture of “Him” has vanished. You may not think it’s anyone else’s business but you owe every invested follower an explanation. What happened? I thought you all were “Relationship Goals”. Soon after, you find yourself in another relationship one month later and the hashtag resurfaces. It becomes a ploy. People start judging you and your social media becomes a platform for bullying.
It’s rarely about goals when you simply want to “Make Pretend”. If that’s the case, you should simply take a picture everywhere you go and make it #Lifegoals. Figure out who you are and what you like to do. Find something that sparks your interest and implement it into your life goals. Go traveling (around the world and not just to Miami), start a support group, write a book, direct a webseries, become a famous blogger, go back and finish school, reconnect with your childhood friend, etc.
Again, you’re almost thirty! Stop with the #RelationshipGoals and plan some #Lifegoals. It’s not cute nor attractive. Know who you are and what your limits are before you enter a relationship. Be sure that its REAL and then decide whether or not to share with the world.
Here is back to all the ex-boyfriend stuff but this time I’m serving a little tea. Now, I’m not the one to tell a tall tale but every now and then, I can’t help myself. I also believe that if you’re reading this then you have been guilty of doing the same thing. You’re guilty of being petty.
Picture this: Your boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you for unspecified reasons and you’re trying to deal with it. Some people self medicate, some people simply move on and others just hide it very well. The others who hide it very well are the one’s who are most guilty of being petty. Here are some things you do that make you this way.
- You remain friends on social media
- You immediately change their name in your phone (Bae=Bitch)
- You threaten your friends to break off any and all contact with him/her
- You social media stalk all their pages
- You post indirect Facebook statuses about them
- You now talk down about them to anyone willing to listen
- You post a lot of pictures looking good just for them to see
Petty runs in your blood and it probably runs deep. I would have never thought I would be this person but I guess this is what happens when you truly love someone. The part that often bothers me is the getting back with your ugly ex. It’s one thing that you dated such a person but it’s an entirely different circumstance when you see their posts about them being together again. That makes me think that you all were in contact while we were in a relationship. So, what’s a girl to do?
In the end, just know that you tried and it didn’t work out because it probably was not meant to be. The petty will come and go and for most people, it will stay. It’s all part of healing and getting over your broken heart. For the people who are not so good at showing emotion, they are suffering the worst. I can say that from experience. Until then, I will try to keep my petty in and my shade trapped.
Confession time!!!! What’s the most petty thing you’ve done after a break-up?
When one uses the word no, a barrage of insults are spewed their way. When the word no floats into the air from a mouth used to spit treachery, it’s backed with hurt. When the word no lingers throughout your mind and navigates it’s way to your heart, you are short of breath. That is simply because this two lettered word holds more power than you think.
In the words of one Dr. Maya Angelou, “You, yourself are enough”. In this day and age, millennials are faced with something greater than danger; self doubt. You question yourself everyday as to whether you made the right decision. You secretly stifle your morals and values to simply fit in. You outcast your family because they don’t love you how you need to be loved. You command yourself to participate in everything with an attachment to service. You feel that you won’t be blessed until you have done a service to more than one. You are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
Breathe! Move! Stop! Go! Laugh! Cry! Meditate! You have to find your own way down a path that was created just for you. If you bring someone else down your path, will their directions lead you to your destination?
It is OK to say no in valor of yourself. You have the right to choose to do what makes your heart sing. You need peace to connect to yourself spiritually. You can choose to practice your spirituality however and whenever you want. What is for you is for you!
Be confident in your “NO” and stand firm in it’s belief. Your “NO” is just for you and your path. When you are alone and you begin to doubt that you are talented or beautiful or intelligent; make your “NO” loud and boisterous so that even you scare yourself.
It feels great to say no because I feel that I am living in my own purpose. When you say no, you are saying yes to peace.