Posted in 100, The Truth

Dating Application

Dating these days is like believing that you have a talent but you keep failing at it. You continuously are trying to figure out if you’re any good at it. For us women, it’s even harder trying to weed through the bad guys just to “settle” for a decent one. Sometimes, we simply give in and give up on finding that realistic match.

For an educated woman, we want to simply find a partner that is independent in his financial stability and inclusive in his emotional and physical support. This sounds complicated but it’s actually quite simple. Its simple enough for you to google what it means and figure it out.

I have been on numerous dates within this year and they have all, with the exception of maybe two, sucked major ass. I have either not been physically attracted to them or extremely turned off by their ignorance and narcissism. I have even questioned myself as to whether or not I was a good match or even good at dating. I started to question myself because I noticed that I attracted certain men. I either attracted older men, who have been married twice and are near their first heart attack or I attract guys who are fascinated by a woman’s body image and his own selfishness.

So, I’ve decided to just be upfront while on a date to save time and effort from introducing myself to an asshole. Here are the five essential questions to ask while on a first date.

  1. How old are you? (Age helps with understanding his mentality)
  2. Who do you live with? (Understanding independence)
  3. Where do you work and is it full-time? (Understanding values)
  4. Do you have any children? (Possible baby mama issues)
  5. Do you drive and own a vehicle? (Understanding dependability)

I have often not asked these simple questions and have been bamboozled while in the relationship. There are different types of women and all women date differently. Some women are more tolerant of certain men and some women cringe at the thought of “taking care of a man”. I fit in the second category. This is not an attack on men because they are also women who fit in the same category.

If you are a no non-sense, take action kind of woman then this article is for you. You have goals, tasks to complete, people to network with, appointments to get to, homework to do, work (employer) to catch up on and errands to run. You have structure in your life and you really don’t have the patience to teach a “Man” how to date you. So, just weed through them all with the five essential dating application questions. You’re Welcome!

Posted in 100, The Truth, Weekly VIBEZ

He Cheated and I Saw Him

Friends! How many of us have them? That is the question that has been asked for over 20 years but no one has seemed to find a conclusive answer. When you have real friends, do you even know that they are your REAL friends. We are all waiting for the real answer but most importantly, the big question.

Picture this: You’re at a concert with a friend and the both of you are talking and laughing hysterically. One friend peeps something odd and grabs your arm tightly. You peep what the friend see’s and the both of you grab each other while simultaneously clutching your pearls. You saw it and you know you saw it because you could not have seen anything else.

You saw your mutual friend’s man walking past with another woman on his arm. You saw him caress the smalls of her back while staring you in the face. You saw him immediately put his head down and stare at the ground as he realized who you were. YOU SAW HIM! You saw him without your friend.

As true and real friends, you deliberate on whether to call up your girl and tell her what you saw. One person has been chosen to do the dirty deed. You decide to text because a phone conversation seems to scare you a little. You tell your friend about her cheating boyfriend and you describe the scenario from top to bottom.

You expect to be the shoulder that will be needed for comfort and instead you get “What was he wearing and what color were his shoes”. Bitch, I made a conscious decision to inform you about this no count dude and all you can ask about is the color of his shoes.

The boyfriend denies that it was ever him and the friend believes him. Once again, they are Facebook happy and all in love and shit. You are extremely livid, not because she took him back but simply because you are the most genuine and honest friend that she has and she called you a LIAR.

Question being: If you saw your friend’s spouse clearly cheating, would you tell your friend?

Posted in The Truth

STUCK

You know that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach? The feeling that you have when you’ve done something wrong! “Why is the sky moving so fast”, paranoia feeling. Well, do you know that feeling? Further details provided below.

One day, I’m sitting in the house binge watching all three season’s of United States of Tara and the next minute I’m crying because I just wanted an anchor. I just wanted someone to hold me down.

There he was, standing at my front door, waiting to taste the rum and coke on my tongue. He grabbed me swiftly and kissed me passionately, I saw dogs peddling on scooters and Ellen Degeneres in a real dress. It was something like I had never imagined. He held the smalls of my back and caressed my neck as if he was ready to say “I Do”. I kissed him back so good that I felt him stumble. Or maybe he just lost his balance!

Then I got that feeling. The “Why is the Sahara Dessert so lonely and dry” feeling. The “Why are there no purple cats in the world” feeling, It was a feeling of complete paranoia. It was as if my gut had just fallen out of my mind. I was head over heels.

We stopped! Well, I stopped before he went to far and like a gentleman, he stopped and escorted himself out. I closed my door behind him and stood in the middle of my kitchen floor wondering why were red spots floating through the air. This weird thing that had suddenly taken over me, that made me feel zombie like, or vampire in love was actually love. I had the best face sucking contest with this MAN and he made me fall in love with his kiss.

I was stuck! Stuck in the middle of my floor! Stuck in love!

Kiss