Posted in Weekly VIBEZ

Social Media Official

A storm has taken place and it has destroyed many of the hidden gems. The hidden gems are now in plain sight and it comes in the form of social media. Although oversharing the details of your intimate relationships is not new, sharing the falsehoods of the “Perfect” relationship on social media is. It is uncommonly common today and people are losing sight of truly connecting with their partners.

What am I saying? I posed a question on the last episode of VIBEZ Podcast, season two, asking whether a relationship is official without social media. My guest couldn’t answer the question and I sensed her thinking about whether her relationships were official. So many social media users overshare their personal lives via internet for unknown reasons. When relationships are shared on social media, it poses many questions about the validity of the union.

If I post you on my social media then that means that we’re officially together and monogamous. If I post you all the time on my social media then that also means that you’re the one for me. Also, it means that I expect you to acknowledge our relationship and tell your friends about it. These are reasons that I believe people use when answering this question. I also believe that many people really just want the attention and validation for self worth and esteem purposes. Does anyone really connect with their partners outside of social media?

Why is a relationship considered official once its been posted to social media? Were you not together beforehand? Did you actually communicate with each other that you were in a relationship as committed partners? Are you waiting on a social media friend’s stamp of approval? Can you be in an official relationship without ever posting your partner on social media?

I feel as if I was born in the baby boomer era. I’m not posting you on my social media until (If ever) I feel that I truly just want to share our happiness with the world. The sharing of relationships should be at the discretion of those parties who are together. If you both say that “Let’s make it official by posting on social media” then that’s your right. What if one person decides to just post you and your relationship status without your knowledge? Will that cause conflict between the both of you?

My overall question is simple. Why is social media such an important construct in the validity of your relationship?

Posted in I DISCovered

Throwback to DVSN

This week in musical discoveries, I stumbled upon the album “Morning After” by the group “DVSN”. I honestly first heard of the group early last year when I heard one of their songs on the radio. It sounded like real music. I was an instant fan! 

With melodic ballads that will heighten your senses and simply enlighten you, "Morning After" feeds the soul. The first single on the album, "Run Away", puts you in a trance as you imagine yourself running through an open field of lilies and soaking up the freedom of you. The song "Think About Me" fills you with thought and goes great with a cocktail. 

"P.O.V." gives you throwback glory (Maxwell) wrapped in sensuousness. DVSN manages to keep your attention throughout the entire album, not needing to skip any song. 

Do yourself a favor and add "Morning After" by DVSN to your rotation. 
Posted in Weekly VIBEZ

I Would Rather Work For Myself

There is a new wave of entrepreneurship going around and it’s mostly hitting Generation Z and Millennials. Having a boss does not sound attractive nor does is sound like something that might be interesting. I interviewed two people each from Gen Z and the Millennial generation and the answers were surprisingly the same.

I posed the question of ” Would you rather work a regular 9 to 5 or for yourself and why”. The Gen Z kids had answers right away as the Millennial generation really thought about the family aspect. Starting with Generation Z, the conversation went as follows:

Me: Why do you prefer to work for yourself as opposed to a regular 9 to 5?

Gabrielle: I feel restricted working a 9 to 5. I don’t like not being free to do whatever I want. The energy and time that I put forth in working for a corporation is the same energy and time that I can invest in myself.

Me: Do you think your generation values the stability of a 9 to 5?

Gabrielle: We don’t think about the 9 to 5 in that way. We can provide stability for ourselves with more freedom if we work for ourselves. We like to sleep in and then go to work later. It’s all about convenience for us. We want to do it our way and on our own time.

I spoke with another Gen Z member and he was able to specify why administration in corporations are causing the loss of younger employees.

Me: Do you prefer working a 9 to 5 or for yourself and why?

Elven: I prefer working for myself mainly because it’s more flexible. Also, I can sleep in late and just take my time with getting my work done. I can be as creative as I want to without being concerned about whether its against policy and procedure.

Me: Is it one particular thing that drives you away from corporate?

Elven: Its honestly not having a say at your job. Following rules that don’t make sense and nobody listening to your suggestions is frustrating. Working for yourself, you can be as successful as you want to be if you drive yourself to succeed.

It’s safe to say that Generation Z is all about freedom of expression and lack of rules. They need creative space and leisure time to really provide great work results. If that’s not the case then the morale drops.

Moving on to the Millennial generation! I interviewed to women who are mothers and married and their answers were more family based.

Me: Would you prefer working for yourself or a regular job and why?

Lauren: I would prefer working for myself because I would be able to spend more time with my family. I feel like I could just work for myself and be happy while spending more time with my husband and son. It would be more convenient also because I could work from home and go as I please.

I asked another mother the same question and she was stern on her answer.

Felicia: I would rather work for myself because of flexibility, autonomy, and creativity. When you work for others you have to worry about the disrespect while still following their rules. The benefit however would be structure. If I worked for myself, I would probably sleep, eat, and watch TV all day and not get any work done.

There is a surprising resemblance is answers with both generations. In the typical corporate workplace, there is a lack of being creative and flexibility. The leadership is lackadaisical because they are not in tune with the employees wants and needs. Working for yourself seems more interesting because you simply DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT. The common denominator is SLEEP. People would rather work for themselves because they could get more sleep. What does that say about Corporate America?

What’s your take on working for yourself as opposed to working a 9 to 5 job?

Posted in Weekly VIBEZ

I Am Not Responsible For Your Happiness

You can’t find happiness within a person but you can experience it within yourself. Happiness is not found in people and you lie to yourself when you state that a person can make you happy or completes you. No one person or any amount of people can make you feel something that you have to experience for yourself. If you are not already at a place of peace or joy then you can’t blame someone for something YOU ALONE are responsible for finding within YOU.

The ever so tiring relationship memes about finding happiness within him/her and how you expect it to happen is pure foolery. If you don’t feel a sense of accomplishment or completeness within yourself then how do you expect another person to make YOU feel that? What is it that makes you happy? The falsehoods that society dishes out as “Happiness” is just that, FALSEHOODS. You can’t place blame on someone else for something that you have yet to figure out for yourself. It is your responsibility to dig deep within your psyche and compile information on your destiny.

It is a burden to place your weight of life upon someone else. It is a burden to store your unknown’s in someone else’s space. It is a burden to place your life items in someone else’s basket. The key word in all of this is YOUR. It belongs to you. You are the sole owner of your things. Therefore, you have to complete your own journey to solely find your happiness.

When you become angry with someone for not making you happy, you are internally blaming yourself for not knowing what completes you. Outwardly, your mate seems to be the end of the line but inwardly, you have never known your beginning. You don’t really know what motivates you, what drives you, what makes you feel secure or wanted, or even what makes you feel accomplished. What you do know is that you have learned how to place blame on someone else for finding something that you lost.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You will not find it within another person but you can connect with someone who has found their own happiness. Take some time off from the constant distractions of the world and figure out what your happiness looks and feels like.

Posted in The Truth, Weekly VIBEZ

I Am Not Responsible For Your Happiness

You can’t find happiness within a person but you can experience it within yourself. Happiness is not found in people and you lie to yourself when you state that a person can make you happy or completes you. No one person or any amount of people can make you feel something that you have to experience for yourself. If you are not already at a place of peace or joy then you can’t blame someone for something YOU ALONE are responsible for finding within YOU.

The ever so tiring relationship memes about finding happiness within him/her and how you expect it to happen is pure foolery. If you don’t feel a sense of accomplishment or completeness within yourself then how do you expect another person to make YOU feel that? What is it that makes you happy? The falsehoods that society dishes out as “Happiness” is just that, FALSEHOODS. You can’t place blame on someone else for something that you have yet to figure out for yourself. It is your responsibility to dig deep within your psyche and compile information on your destiny.

It is a burden to place your weight of life upon someone else. It is a burden to store your unknown’s in someone else’s space. It is a burden to place your life items in someone else’s basket. The key word in all of this is YOUR. It belongs to you. You are the sole owner of your things. Therefore, you have to complete your own journey to solely find your happiness.

When you become angry with someone for not making you happy, you are internally blaming yourself for not knowing what completes you. Outwardly, your mate seems to be the end of the line but inwardly, you have never known your beginning. You don’t really know what motivates you, what drives you, what makes you feel secure or wanted, or even what makes you feel accomplished. What you do know is that you have learned how to place blame on someone else for finding something that you lost.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You will not find it within another person but you can connect with someone who has found their own happiness. Take some time off from the constant distractions of the world and figure out what your happiness looks and feels like.

Posted in Weekly VIBEZ

My Advice Is Free But My Peace Is Not

There is usually the friend in the group who is the peacemaker. That friend usually gives out great advice for the best interest of his/her friends. That person also is usually the one who never feels truly comfortable enough with any one friend to confide in. That person is overwhelmed and underserved.

Peace in the form of solidarity comes at a price. Sometimes, that job, or the extra volunteer work takes a toll on you. That relationship has completely broken you from the inside out. The children have completely drained any lasting energy that you were secretly hanging on to. Now, here comes those friends or that one person who has no common knowledge that you’re hanging on by a thread. They throw their baggage onto you expecting you to resolve a top tiered leveled crisis of theirs. Even though you have expressed your own crises and how you simply need time to heal, they expect you to put their issues first.

Your peace is not free! It comes at a cost. If you are the go to person who seemingly always have the answers, it’s at a higher cost. You have to sacrifice, multi-task, compromise, and god knows what else. You end up paying for your own peace. It is not your job to fix everyone or everything. You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness. You are responsible for your own sanity. You can’t be at peace if you’re still paying for someone else’s.

It’s more than ok to choose your own peace over everything else. You don’t have all of the answers and that’s ok. You are not GOOGLE and sometimes google doesn’t even have the answers. What does your peace look like? What does it sound like? Who does it include? How does it make you feel?

What I know for sure is that my peace is more important than your demands!

Posted in I DISCovered

You Are WORTHY

If you have not already done so then please do yourself a favor and listen to India Arie’s new album, “Worthy”. She is back! Being a big India Arie fan myself, I can truly say that I am in no way, shape, or form disappointed. The India Arie that we truly know is simply back.

With her eight studio album, “Worthy” describes a life of purpose after finding love within one’s self. India seeps into our minds with tracks such as “Rollercoaster” in which she details the current state of our government and war on black people. She gives us a soulful ballad with “Steady Love“. It takes us back to real music with meaning and substance.

Her debut single from this album is “Magic” in which a video was also released. Magic, in comparison, is our updated version of “The Truth”. This song details her love of a man whose spirituality and mentality connects so deep with her, it wows her like magic. The video, starring Lyric Bennet, gives us the feels as it portrays what it’s like to simply be in the truest form of love.

This is an album that you can play straight through with skipping a song. It’s an album of love, compassion, lesson, and deep thought. It’s an album that teaches us to love ourselves first and to understand that we are worthy. It’s an album that touches our spirits and makes our souls speak out. This is an India Arie album.