Love is in the air and people are breathing it all in. Or maybe that was just a thought of mine! More and more, I’m beginning to see that a lot of millennials are getting married. The pictures seem to prove a thousand different words with images that appear to capture the pure essence of love. That or either it’s simply just a picture.
On three separate occasions, I have been informed of the truth of what looked like a “Happy” marriage. This time, it’s the men that are proving to be unhappy. When asked why they went through with the marriage, each man responded by saying that “He thought it was the right thing to do”. All under thirty, each man admitted to feeling miserable in his marriage.
Each guy said he felt pressured by his or her family to go through with the wedding. He didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Neither man ever thought about whether or not he was disappointing himself. Going into a marriage based on pleasing others can lead to a destructive union.
When I think of marriage, I genuinely think about the rest of my life. I imagine myself to live until I’m ninety-nine years old. I visualize myself resting in a hammock near a great body of water at the age of fifty. I know for a fact that I will take my retirement money and cruise around the world. When it comes to marriage, I simply want to do all of these things with someone who satisfies my soul.
I was also told that marriage was a business. Although I’m not married, marriage should not be a business. If you enter into a marriage with that concept then that’s how it will turn out. Sometimes, businesses fail and you don’t always want to resurrect them. You might have a new idea and move on to it. Is that how you’re going to treat your marriage?
When marrying someone else becomes the “Right thing to do”, it becomes the wrong life to live. What happens when you’re no longer physically or emotionally attracted to your partner? You stay and then what? You live in misery and then what? You fall into a deep depression and then what? You lose yourself and you believe that love does not exist.
Before you propose, because it’s the right thing to do, think about the rest of your life. How long do you see yourself living? What are your plans for when you turn sixty-five? Do you truly want to spend that time with the person that you’re either married to or plan on proposing to? If you’re in a marriage now because it was the right thing to do, are you happy? Have you ever been?
It’s OK to admit the truth to yourself. That’s where you have to begin. It’s OK if things don’t work out. That’s you taking steps towards your own happiness. It’s OK for you to do what’s right for you. That’s living your best life!
What is the right thing to do? Societal pressures and familial traditions! Often times, we think that following in the foot steps of family or proving to be better than someone else is what’s right. Only you can determine what’s right for YOU because YOU know yourself better than anyone else. What feels right to you? When you figure it out then you will understand that that’s the right thing to do.