Posted in The Truth, Weekly VIBEZ

An X is an EX

I used to think that I was extremely mean to guys and I did not give them a fair chance at shooting their shots. Now I know why I was mean! Guys want to shoot their shots even if you all are no longer on the same court.

Being cordial and being a complete jerk are two different things but they usually end up being one in the same. When it comes to most of my ex boyfriends, I mainly feel this way. PSA: I’m not interested in ever getting back with you so don’t even waste your time. I can be terribly pleasant to you and even entertain everyone amongst a group of friends. I can hold an influential conversation with you while reminiscing about the good old days of our past. Ohhh but please be conscious that I probably despise you and your lack of manhood.

If your relationship did not work out then that’s the end of that. What if it has been a few tears and both parties have seemingly changed? If this is the case then you should give it another chance. Great things happen with second and third chances. However, if you were given a fifth, sixth, seventh and eight chance then your ass should be put on the “DO NOT EVER THINK ABOUT OR CONTACT ME LIST”. Going back to an old relationship often gives one hope that things can revert back to the way they were. People often think about the good times and convincingly tends to have no recollection of the bad. When I’ve had more bad times than good; as the Spanish say, ADIOS!

I can count on my hands the number of times that I have gotten back with an ex. Be it for pleasure or because I truly had faith that it would work; I just can’t see myself repeating this same behavior. I don’t doubt that some of my ex-boyfriends are really good guys. I just don’t think that they have maturated in MEN.

I have been watching so much Oprah and Iyanla: Fix My Life that I truly believe that I have fixed myself and grown spiritually and mentally. I’m not a person of many chances but if you have somehow managed to get more than two chances out of me then you should know that you’re the asshole who messed up. I’m not perfect by an inch but I’m a decimal away from being the woman you wish you had.

Question at hand is: Have you taken an ex back and if so, why?


I'm a native of Chicago, IL and I currently reside here. I graduated from Jackson State University with my B.S. in Criminal Justice and I received my MBA from American Intercontinental University. I'm also an actress, writer, director and a blogger.

7 thoughts on “An X is an EX

  1. Once. Dated a boy when I was sixteen. Broke up with him after a few weeks, but got back in contact with him when we were 19 and we dated for about 4 months. I was the one to fall in love that time… and he broke up with me that time. We’re friends now…. I still care for him. It was just a not-being-quite-right for each other kind of situation.

    Many of my exes are good guys and if we were single I would take back a few of them – not all. Some were just no where near right for me long term (or vice versa), but some relationships ended due to circumstances out of our control and as older people now those relationships would have had a better chance of working out. I’m married now though, as are they, so no chance the past will be repeated now 🙂


    1. I feel like this is different. As women, when were young it’s like second nature to take an ex back because we really “Loved” him/her. I appreciate your honesty and I also feel that you always think about what could have been when you get older.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I have an ex boyfriend we were 17 & 18 I was older and more mature he wanted to play w cars n in his mother’s garage constantly. We dated 2 1/2 yrs I thought we would get married. Nope he broke it off in June he took me back August we were officially over in Oct that time no the 2nd time I had enough I was talking to other guys by the 3rd time we tried dating I wasn’t interested anymore I was done! 15 months later I was married. Today happily married 7 yrs w a 4 yr old son. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.


    1. This is such a great ending. I don’t think guys understand how much we women allow ourselves to tolerate. Taking him back for the third time would have been more than enough for me. Don’t doubt for one second that you made the wrong choice because your life is YOUR life now. Thanks for your story.


  3. I have only one ex, he was my first everything I should say. We started dating July 2012 and on Valentine’s Day this year he left me. It is so crazy to me that even when I knew there were more cons than pros I still was looking for reasons to squeeze out all the Good that was in him hoping that he would just change. 3mo after me and my ex broke up, I ran into an old friend who is now literally treating me like a Queen. I remember always having to fight my ex for this kind of treatment. 6mo from February, my ex comes back and still to this day is trying to fight for me back. When you ask Have I taken an Ex Back? YES If so, Why? Because I thought he changed… now that he’s noticed what he missed out on 4years 6mo later… sometimes I think mhm maybe there is a chance but thinking about all the things that I have been through, it only makes me want to move on. It sucks that it took him this long to figure it out but he is just too late. I’m happy right now, and I’m meeting my friends family this Christmas, and who knows what will happen after that. Don’t wait, Time doesn’t wait on anybody.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You shouldn’t have to fight for change in a relationship. My sentiments are that if a person really loves you like they say they do then there will be some sort of compromise. I’m dealing with the same situation now. Ex left me for unspecified reasons but now wants to “Talk”. I’ve moved on!!


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