The Elderly Workout Chronicles
The world has come to an end as I type. I can not erase the sound or image of a 65-year-old man lifting weights out of my brain. My grandma’s boyfriend decided to bring his workout routine to the yard of our building. Unfortunately, I live on the first floor and I can hear everything. I woke up to the sound of Morgan Freeman moaning profane words. What in the fudge cake brownies? I thought I could hear them going at it. I didn’t know what to do. I had left my window open and thought that they decided to take a walk on the wild side or at least in the yard. Maybe they were exercising together. NO! My grandma has not worked out since she stopped never working out. I peeked out my window and there he was. An old black man with a Jerry curl. What in the good gone hell was happening? Did we step back into the 1980’s? He was lifting two fifty pound dumb bells while listening to what sounded like opera music. Well, I would have been grunting and moaning too. Maybe he was trying to find his inner tenor, LOL. It has literally been an hour later and he refuses to stop exercising. These sounds will be the existence of my disturbance.If that is what geriatric sex sounds like then I never want to get old. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!