A combustion of thoughts cloud my head. A faded memory of what was once the most memorable night of my life. I close my eyes and it’s instantly a kaleidoscope of colors. My thoughts now become void. I only wanted validation from him. A vacuous feeling swarms around me and finally reaches it’s destination, my heart. My body was once full of fervor for him but had now become destitute. I needed that feeling again. The fullness of life within me. I needed the combustion of fireworks. So vulnerable yet complex. An incredulous wall protected his heart. I was once the code to his secured heart. A one way connection to his collection of his writings that are on display for the world to see. I follow them waiting to become part of the collection. I want to regain that feeling any way that I can. I want his touch. One day I will capture his heart and reclaim what I lost. I will capture his heart and hold it hostage for my soul.